troubled friendships B

proverbs 16:28 A dishonest man spreads strife,
and a whisperer separates close friends.

friendships dun last- why?
how do u damage relationships...
maybe we dun even realise...

1. selfishness... what can he do for me or what can i meet their need....

2. manipulation , or control ... nobody likes to be controlled.... (think God-man relationships)
God wants us to come to him freely

3. jealousy - hold to what's mine...

4. criticism - jus let it past..

5. explosions - pent up feelings.. tragedy ... sometimes u may even do things that u cant undo...
deal with issues IMMEDIATELY

6. disloyalty

7. pure dishonesty... trust?

8. busyness ! dont meet dont talk. TIME !

how u get it back together... rescuing and healing?

1. address it ... hey, i misunderstood u etc etc
2. determine what happen... what was said , what was believed? where and what went off track?
3. apologise - if e relationship is worth saving, does it matter whose fault is it? u will assume responsibility to make first move.
bible calls it unconditional love ....

4. refuse to blame.... goal: to right the person or to make the relationship right?

What are u willing to commit to save the relationship?

4 Qs :
- am i a projecting on my fren that something that happen on my past?
- start to bulid defenses , then smday u will be critical of someone again... u wan to 'destroy' the friendship

- am i jus too fearful to have a close relationship with anybody?
u dun wan to be hurt again... it is a whole lot love and lose them, then never have a relationship at all...

- do i have unreal expectations of this relationship... am i expecting more than this person is able to give... some ppl can give themselves BUT some ppl dun... they dun even know how to love u... the dun hvae the capacity to love u ... if u understand that... MAYBE u have to do more, forgive more... but if u treasure that relationship, u will do it

- are these feeling of rejectiong bcos he is rejecting me, or do i have such a sense of low esteem , that i think that this relationship is not worthy for me...

u must be persistent!
ask God to help your fren to be a Godly person...
God will work in ur life in most amazing fashion!

wonderful intimate relationship .... ;-)