The return of the prodigal son

i never finish reading this book... it is a hall mark of a good book... henri nouwen has a very deep and sensitive soul...
i need to quote some stuff here... all for learning purpose....

p44.

as long as i remain in touch with the voice that calls me the Beloved,these questions and counsels are quite harmless. Parents, friends, and teachers, even those who speak to me thru the media, are mostly very sincere in their concerns . Their warnings and advice are well intended. In fact, they can be limited human expressions of an unlimited divine love. But when i forget that voice of the first unconditional, then these innocent suggestions can easily start dominating my life and pull me into the distant country. it is not very hard for me to know when this is happening. Anger, resentment, jealousy, desire for revenge, lust, greed, antagonisms, and rivalries are the obvious signs that i have left home. ANd that happens quite easily. When i pay careful attention to what goes on in my mind from moment to moment, i come to the disconcerting discovery that there are very few moments during my day when i am really free from these dark emotions, passions, and feelings.

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everyday i am being bombarded with various voices - the good ones and the bad ones... which one do i listen to? the voice that tempts me to react instantly , fleshy-ly, that impluse to react- to feel sad for myself, to see me in my own perspective... that voice is NOT from God... i heard that sound, now i tempted to walk into it... that is the most dangerous thing to do...

however, that voice inside is NOT a 'taking' voice- "NO! this is mine...i deserve it"; it should be a giving voice - "i don't understand what You are doing, I struggle in my faith , in my prayer with you- But i GIVE you the control; tell me what should a Son properly react?" -> that is the voice !!!! the right voice
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this struck home so hard today , at office and here while i type... OBEDIENCE is the key... nothing else said previously would do me any good if it does not leads to obedience... what would you say to someone who complains to God everyday " God, drop me a job.. drop me a wife, drop me a life" the illustration that i would use is this: Do you ever ask God, why God- You didnt brush my teeth while in my bed today?" there must be obedience... God allows one to wake up alive every morning, and there's responsibility involved in living out that life. You simply brush you teeth out of obedience. No one ever ask God why we should dress ourselves or put on shoes? but we bring that inconsistency into the other areas of our lives.

Follow God's lead.. if he opens up the opportunity ... GO ! have faith... like previous struggle... it is a fine art between waiting upon the Lord and eventually moving over the conquer the land.... i got this nudge that i have been waiting for a long time- not willing to move because of all the wrong reasons - would God like it? would it displease God? would it fit into God's timing? more like a self-painted spiritual-coated form of laziness... i admit there are trances of it in me... i fear making mistakes... but from Acts 16... had Paul felt that it was a mistake give asia a miss, THEN he would have made the greatest mistakes... mistakes are already ordained by God in advance... the Father knows better... from a human view, mistakes leads to pain- and in a way i am conditioned to prevent pain; BUT God's strategy is to grow despite the pain; in fact to find growth THRU pain... i have been living on spiritual pain-killers for too long... so much so i have achieve so much less in real life.... i refuse to obey God and submit to that call to grow thru pain... the sin of inaction as some may call it...

another new lesson ... brought home since last friday IDT sessions - Ps 84: 6 As they go through the Valley of Baca
they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools. early rain ... God already blesses us from advance... form the start He already wants to pour forth his blessings... and this is kinda reconfirm immediately at the missions conference the day after... Luke 15 in the following days's reading... and of cos henri nouwen's book.... the heart of the father is to bless us in advance... to receive us... to get right the relationship with God... to come humbly before God and to receive the unimaginable blessings he has for me in advance... the surprises in life....

God... surprise me again... today, tomorrow and forevermore... but first, let me learn to walk in obedience... to learn to choose to listen to your Voice, and not my voice of sin , inaction and laziness...