Set Yourself Apart for Christ

Whitney Hopler
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Leslie Ludy's new book, Set-Apart Femininity: God’s Sacred Intent for Every Young Woman (Harvest House Publishers, 2008).

As a woman, you naturally want to be seen as beautiful. But no matter how much time, energy, and money you spend trying to catch an attractive guy’s attention or live up to our society’s current standard of beauty, the best you can achieve is the worldly kind of beauty that can’t fulfill you.

True beauty can only be found through your relationship with Jesus Christ. When you set yourself apart from the world’s idea of a beautiful lifestyle and devote yourself wholeheartedly to Christ, His love will transform you into a stunningly beautiful woman.

Here’s how you can set yourself apart for Christ:

Consider your motives. Take a hard look at the decisions you’re making and ask yourself honestly what motives lie behind them. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to grow in all the ways Jesus wants to transform you, even when that means sacrificing your own agenda? Or are you trying to tack on some Christian morality to a self-indulgent life?

Consider who Jesus is to you. Yes, He’s your Savior. But do you view Him as a casual buddy with whom you check in once in a while? Or do you see Him as your true love -- Someone you pursue with absolute passion?

Don’t settle for less than the best. There’s much more to being a Christian than saying the salvation prayer and then fitting Jesus into your life. Jesus wants to be more than just a part of your life; He wants to be your whole life. Instead of trying to fit Jesus into your lifestyle, build your life completely around your relationship with Him. Don’t be content to be a mediocre Christian, slipping Jesus into your life whenever it’s convenient. Decide every day to abandon yourself completely to Jesus, inviting Him to transform every part of your life.

Look for excitement in the right place. Even though the culture surrounding you may give you the message that surrendering your life to Jesus will only lead to a boring life, you’ll discover if you choose to do so anyway that Jesus will lead you on exciting adventures you couldn’t experience any other way.

Rely on supernatural power to help you. Don’t be intimidated by wondering how you’ll ever have the strength to live truly holy life. You can’t do it in your own strength. But the good news is that God will help you every step of the way when you rely on Him. Ask God to teach you how to yield to His power working within you rather than your own efforts. Remember that, apart from God, you can do nothing, but with Him, anything is possible.

Get a spiritual makeover. While our culture will often tell you to look for beauty within, the reality is that all that lies within you apart from God is the ugliness of sin. Acknowledge that reality, confess and repent of your sins, and invite God to make you new from the inside out by removing the residue of sin and selfishness from your life and clothing you in holiness. Start today, and keep the process going, since there’s always more for God to refine in your life.

Ask how much you can give to Christ, instead of how much you can get away with. Be ruthless in eliminating moral compromises from your life. Don’t use your freedom in Christ to do just the minimum you should do to be considered faithful. Instead, constantly remind yourself of how Jesus gave His all – His life – to save you, and decide to give your all to keep growing closer to Him.

Sacrifice whatever is keeping you too preoccupied to make Jesus your top priority. Break away from parts of your lifestyle that are preventing you from seeking Jesus with your whole heart. Take a hard look at how much time you spend in prayer and Bible study versus other, far less important activities like watching TV or surfing the Internet. Consider what kinds of sounds, images, and messages you’re allowing into your mind on a regular basis. Do they honor God, or do they glorify sin? Where do you turn for enjoyment and comfort – to Jesus, or to someone or something else? Consider such topics as the movies and TV shows you watch, the music you listen to, the way you use the Internet, the magazines and books you read, the way you speak, the way you dress, the activities you pursue, and the friendships you engage in. Remember that if any activity, habit, or relationship in your life tends to pull you away from Jesus, that’s a sign that it doesn’t belong in your life.

Expect persecution, but value Christ more. When you live a set-apart life, you’ll likely encounter negative responses from others who are uncomfortable with the extent of your faith. Don’t be discouraged or derailed by persecution. Live your life to please God, not other people.

Attract the right kind of guys. Don’t worry about being overlooked by guys because you’ve set yourself apart for Christ. The guys who will overlook you for that reason are the kinds of guys you wouldn’t want to date anyway – self-indulgent, sex-obsessed guys who won’t recognize the beauty of holiness or know how to treat you with the honor God wants you to receive. If you haven’t met the right guy yet, don’t put off living your life to the fullest. Instead of looking to romance with men to fulfill you, draw your fulfillment from the greatest love story you could ever participate in – your relationship with Jesus. Make Jesus – not finding the right guy – the focus of your life. Even if the right guy never comes along for you to marry, Jesus will still be enough. When you pour all your time and energy into your relationship with Jesus, you’ll catch the attention of Christlike men, and one of them may even turn out to be the right one for you.

Relate to guys wisely. Be sure to set and maintain clear physical and emotional boundaries in your relationships with guys. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you so you’re not led by selfish motives. Guard your heart and keep the honor of your future spouse in mind. Don’t pursue guys; let guys initiate relationships with you. Remember that, if you want your future husband to be strong and confident, you need to allow Him to follow God’s pattern of being the initiator in your relationship. Forget about flirting, because flirting draws attention toward you instead of toward Christ – and in a healthy relationship, the people involved should be pointing each other toward Christ.

Resist evil’s influence in your life. Don’t allow evil forces to hinder God’s purposes for your life. While sometimes God allows you to suffer so good purposes can be fulfilled, often your problems are attacks from the evil side of the spiritual realm that wants to discourage and defeat you. Pray about whatever is troubling you – fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, confusion, insecurity, family problems, health problems, financial problems, a sense of hopelessness, or anything else – and stand firmly in the power Jesus has given you to overcome evil. Fortify the spiritual walls around your life. Identify breaches like sinful attitudes and behaviors, rebellious habits, and involvement with the occult that give evil forces entry points into your life. Then confess them and repent of them. Make a list of all the areas of your life that don’t reflect the glory of Jesus, and pray about each one. When you pray: be persistent, remember that God wants to do good things for you, be bold, be specific, ask for big things and have faith that God will answer, and stand upon the promise that all things are possible with God. Incorporate prayer into every part of your life and make a habit of praying constantly as you go through each day.

Make Christ your first love even after you’re married. If you and your spouse are overly concerned with trying to meet your own needs and desires, your marriage will be smothered in the process. But if you both focus on serving each other because you love Jesus and want to His follow His call to selflessness, your marriage will thrive.

Serve others. Make service to others a regular part of your lifestyle. The world is full of hurting people, and Jesus is calling you to help them. Jesus set you free not just for your own benefit, but also so you can help others. Take your job to minister to those in need seriously. Ask God to help you see it as a privilege rather than a burden. Remember that your call to serve goes beyond just the people in your own family or circle of friends. Keep focusing outward. Don’t use your family responsibilities or any other circumstance as an excuse to ignore the greater call on your life, which is to pour yourself out radically for the lost, dying, needy, and oppressed. Pray for God to show you which specific people He wants you to help at what times, so you don’t become overwhelmed and focus where He wants you to focus.

Hold a sacred ceremony to declare your commitment to God. Schedule a time when you can be alone with God and express your decision to live a set-apart life for Him. Celebrate Communion and sign a confession that explains the commitments you’re making to God.

Adapted from Set-Apart Femininity: God’s Sacred Intent for Every Young Woman, copyright 2008 by Leslie Ludy. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Or., www.harvesthousepublishers.com.

Is Your Faith Messy? Take the Chance to Live by Grace

Whitney Hopler
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer

Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of A.J. Gregory's new book, Messy Faith: Daring to Live by Grace, (Revell, 2008).

Your spiritual journey isn’t a straight path to flawless faith; it’s a winding path that sometimes takes you through significant struggles. You want to believe, but doubt stands in your way. You want to live faithfully, yet sin creeps up on you.

No matter how messy your faith is, however, God will meet you in the middle of it. Here’s how you can trust God to make something beautiful out of your messy faith:

Embrace grace. Even if you think you don’t deserve to receive God’s grace, God wants to give it to you. Realize that there’s absolutely nothing you can do to make God love you any less or more than He already does – and He loves you deeply and unconditionally. So don’t be afraid to approach Him, despite your shortcomings. And don’t try to earn His favor. There is no formula you can follow to become a better person through your own efforts. That will only occur when you confess your frailties to God and rely on the power of the grace He offers you to grow. Once you truly repent of your sins, God forgives you, so forgive yourself and move on. Spiritual masochism will only sabotage your efforts to get closer to God. Remember that your mistakes don’t define you, and neither do your good works. Only God’s love for you – and how you respond to it – determines your destiny.

Be honest about your imperfections. Don’t waste your time or energy trying to be or seem perfect; it’s futile. Take a hard look inside your soul and ask God to help you see all that truly lies within it. What kind of imperfect attitudes and behaviors do you notice? Tell the truth about them – to yourself, to others, and to God. Admit the ways you fall short in what you think, say, and do. Then, whenever you become aware of one of your imperfections, pray for God to help you in that area rather than trying to cover it up. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that just because you happen to be living a strong Christian life right now, you’ll be immune to sin in the future. Recognize that all human beings have the capacity to sin in every way if they’re not regularly relying on God to help them. Instead of aiming to be a perfect Christian, focus on becoming a true Christian – one who stays connected to God through struggles and keeps maturing in the faith. Rather than trying to look, act, and sound like a person who has it together all the time, simply be yourself. Expect God to continue to work through you as you continue to trust Him.

Pray. No matter what’s going on in your life, it’s crucial to make time for prayer. Pray even when you don’t feel like it, because prayer fuels your faith. Don’t worry about what your prayers sound like or how distracted you are when you pray. God doesn’t judge the quality of your prayers; He is simply pleased to see you make the effort to connect with Him. Remember that God is always listening, so feel free to pray anytime. Even though you can’t anticipate how God will choose to answer your prayers, you can rest assured that He will always give you the blessing of His presence when you pray. You can also be confident that God will respond to your prayers by working for your ultimate good – even in the worst situations. Don’t get discouraged when God doesn’t answer your prayers in the ways you’d hoped He would. Keep trusting Him.

Stop judging. Don’t judge others who are struggling with their own messes in life. While you want to be the kind of person who will reach out to help others by telling them the truth, you need to do so in love. Check your motives before saying something to people that you hope will help them: Do you genuinely care about them and want to help them, or do you secretly enjoy seeing their flaws and want to admonish them? Pay attention to what’s going on in your mind when you find yourself thinking or saying things that are less than pleasant or edifying. Ask yourself why you’re judging: Are you scared of your own failures? Are you frustrated with yourself? Are you lonely? Are you jealous of the person you’re judging? Having the courage to explore these hard questions will help you grow in your faith.



Recognize the value of brokenness. God accepts and redeems your brokenness, and when you trust Him, He’ll take the broken pieces of your life and put them together in ways that will make you stronger. Don’t be afraid to approach God in the middle of your brokenness; go to Him with a humble and repentant heart, inviting Him to help you. Remember that being broken doesn’t make you a bad person or a lost cause; it simply gives you a way to come home to God. Accept the love He offers you.

Trust that God will take care of you. Even with all of life’s uncertainties, you can rest assured that God will somehow take care of you. But when you feel some doubt, just be honest about it, and pray for God to help you overcome your unbelief. Don’t rely on stuff, people, religion, or anything else to comfort you when you doubt God’s goodness or power. Instead, face your questions and work through them. Realize that you can’t anticipate exactly how God will lead us out of your struggles and into a better future you can’t see, but you don’t need to try to guess. All God asks is that you keep moving forward with Him, trusting Him to lead you in the right direction day by day. Remember God’s promises to take care of you, and keep walking with Him, expecting Him to keep His promises.

Forgive. God has forgiven you often, and He calls you to forgive others who’ve hurt you and yourself for your own mistakes. Let your gratitude for the many times God has extended forgiveness to you motivate you to obey His call to extend forgiveness to other people in your life. Choose to forgive – whether or not you feel like it – and expect that, as God works through you to empower you to forgive, your feelings will often change as a result. Forgive whether or not the people who have hurt you ask you to forgive them; do so to be faithful to God and to free yourself from the bitterness that will poison your soul if you refuse to forgive.

Break free of addictions. Look beyond the symptoms of whatever addictions you might be struggling with – drinking, smoking, engaging in unhealthy sexual relationships, working too much, eating too much, watching too much television, etc. – to figure out what issues within your soul are feeding your addictions. Instead of looking for a quick and easy cure, pray for God’s deep healing over time – healing that will result in a completely transformed life, in which you’re whole and at peace. Realize that only God – not anything you’re addicted to – can truly fulfill you. Practice relying on God as your ultimate source for everything you need day by day and even moment by moment, and your ability to trust Him will grow.

Know that God is enough. Place your confidence in God, despite His intangibility and invisibility. Rest in His presence rather than relying on things or people that can’t ultimately deliver the help you need in life. Instead of trying to make yourself feel better by looking at things or people right around you, look beyond them to God, who can handle your most messy situations and transform them into something beautiful. Confess your confusion and uncertainty to God whenever you hit a rough time, trusting that even when everything and everyone else is stripped away, God will still be there, leading you through the mess and out to the other side. Stay connected to God through prayer on a regular basis, since that will give you the peace you need to know that He truly is enough for all you need.

Look for treasures in the darkness. Whenever you experience dark times in your life, remember that it’s often through those times that your faith is authenticated. You can figure out whether what you believe about God and yourself is really true, whether you love God as much as you say you do, whether the Christian faith is really worth it, whether believing in God matters, and whether you trust God enough – even through the unknown. Ask God to shine His light into your darkness to give you hope and guide you toward His purposes for you. Use what you learn during your times of darkness to encourage others in their own dark times. Trust God to transform your darkness into light that shines in ways you’ve never imagined possible.

Adapted from Messy Faith: Daring to Live by Grace, copyright 2008 by A. J. Gregory. Published by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Mich., www.revellbooks.com.
A.J. Gregory is an accomplished freelance writer who has helped author seven books. Messy Faith is her groundbreaking attempt at finding some equilibrium between spirituality and the realities of life. She is a member of The Life Christian Church, a seeker-friendly congregation located in a suburb of New York City.