From pg.22

Sometimes other people's offenses can't help but hurt-and hurt deeply. That's understandable. But when we let the circumstances and the other people take control, we get into trouble.

Why do we give other people that kind of power? God never intended for our relationships to determine how we feel about ourselves. When people base their identity on what others might think, their image will always be changing because people's attitudes and opinions are constantly changing. If today we value ourselves based on what others determine is important, then tomorrow we may find our self-esteem damaged.

We ,ust never let our past circumstances or other people dictate how we thin about ourselves. Release from our burdens is one of the major principles that Jesus taught. He talked about turning pressure and pain into peace. "Come to Me... all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give your rest" (Matt 11:28) We don't have to be victims of the pasts- we can be victors over our pasts.

Here's one way to determine if you are putting too much emphasis on your own expectations or others' expectations of you performance. Ask yourself, If I didn't have the job, income, or material possessions i have, would i feel the same about myself?
Insecurity in your accomplishments can translate into destructive habits in your relationships.

Or yo may want to give your heart to someone you care about , but you fear rejection. Feeling inadequate with the person God made you to be only leads to isolating yourself from a gf or bf who really wants to know you and care about you.

If this is true of you, my suggestion is to relax.